Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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