Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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