My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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