i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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