Christians are straight up FREAKS
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
