It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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