Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
