if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
