Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
