I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
