i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
