chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The best revenge is premature balding
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
