lets start a swedish sibling band together
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
