I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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