3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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