even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize