i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
