I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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