Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
then he tried to convert me to islam
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
