operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
