reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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