well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
