i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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