I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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