Just cropdusted the office
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
