It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
