Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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