it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
