What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
