So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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