whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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