Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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