Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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