Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
