someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
