OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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