i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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