so explain again why im purple
no
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
