ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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