it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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