accomplished twins. life is a go
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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