you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
