I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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