He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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