I CAN MOONWALK!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
