your parents love me but you hate me
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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