also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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