The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
