Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
