Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
