I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
