but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
