Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
