Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.

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(559): View more from California

I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.

(1-559): View more from California

Yup.

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(309): View more from Illinois

is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot

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(734): View more from Michigan

you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...

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(459): View more from

I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"

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