there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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