lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
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My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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