We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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