Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
